Our own versions of reality

An experience I had on my visit to a shrine .. almost an epiphany of sorts ..

I am not a temple goer, but MomDad talked me into taking the journey with them and I conceded thinking it will make them happy and I will get to travel in the mountains. We were standing in the huge crowd waiting for dad to pass the frisking so we could start the trek up a hill. Suddenly someone collided with me from behind, so strongly that I almost fell down. Perturbed by the unwarranted collision, I turned around to face the person almost thinking to myself “Does he not have eyes?” What I saw stunned me – it was a 13-14 years old boy indeed blind from both eyes. I felt pity for him not because he was blind, but because of my perception that he must be having a diminishing sense of self-worth when he realized how he had no control when he collided with people and objects on the road.
At that time, all I could feel was deep sympathy for the boy, anger for his mother who was so carelessly dragging him in the midst of the crowd and most of all, a flood of questions about the whole purpose of visiting shrines when we turn a blind eye to the problems staring us in the eye, knowing that we can solve those, that we are empowered to some extent to help ourselves. I saw really old people, incapable of undergoing such arduous journey being carried up on stretchers. I saw people carrying their little ones, less than one year old, all the way up. Babies were sleeping on their elders’ shoulders but their necks were hanging on one side throughout the journey. Why cause such discomfort to the little ones? For what? For a glimpse of an idol? Well, you could just look at your baby if you seek a glimpse of God! That boy’s mother was dragging him may be because she thought that taking her blind son to the shrine will probably make his life better in some way, but what about that collision with me? Who could even fathom what might have gone through the boy’s mind when he collided with me? How did he feel? Was it really necessary to bring him there? I have to say. No. All he needed was loving care of his mother and an acceptance of him the way he was. I think 90% of our problems can be solved if we start respecting and accepting what we already have.
This much for my feelings then which hinged around our problems and our resistance to them.

But in retrospect, I was taken aback by the realization of how easily and how often we form perceptions about things and derive our important decisions, opinions and reactions based on these perceptions which can be (and often are) unthinkably remote from reality. How narrow our thinking really is. Perhaps, this is not the best example because no one would expect a sudden collision with a blind person but it was a jolting experience for me and I will explain why. I find two things most notable. One, I never considered the possibility that the person who collided with me could indeed be blind. Two, I felt pity for him thinking that he might really have felt bad to have collided with a stranger. That such a child’s sense of self-worth and self-esteem will erode with every such collision he will have. I had a strong urge to stop his mother and tell her how I felt, but it happened too fast for me to digest it and do anything about it. These were my perceptions which clouded my judgment and made me feel pity for the child. May be she was also clouded by her perceptions of her son's blindness being a big problem. If both of us keep sticking to our perceptions, I keep feeling pity and she keeps feeling unrest about the boy's blindness, who will listen to him. May be he doesn't think it is all that problematic, you know, but if only we let him be. If only we stop creating our own versions of reality. May be he can get an operation and get his eyesight back, and if he cannot, it might not be as big a problem, after all, as we make it to be.

We are too quick to conclude and perceive. Too egoistic to believe in those conclusions and perceptions. And these 2 things feed all our problems. All this can’t be too difficult to realize. All we have to do is look within or an easier way out, visit a shrine up a mountain. It’s like we are faced with a disturbing situation, we perceive it as unpleasant/problematic and quickly conclude that it should not be happening. Then what follows is the “reaction” that manifests itself in the form of thoughts, words and doings. Karma.

So much for the human intelligence!

God knows I want to break free!